She always knew she would die a warm summer's day; the only thing she didn't know was how death would come to her.
   Until one day.
   The end of a long and warm summer was drawing near. The nature was buzzing of life and everything seemed to have a pleasantly sweet smell. The nights were lukewarm with a sun that never really disappeared in the distant horizon; it just balanced there, on the verge to night.
   She often goes for walks in the forest so she could inhale every inch of summer beauty the trees and flowers allow her to take part of. Birds sing in the green ocean of tree tops and bright rays of sunlight steal their way through small gaps among the leaves, making her path full of glowing dots.
   She's walking on sunshine.
   Her heart is excited, but she walks slowly. Every step must be correct; everything must be perfect this day. She doesn't know why that is, nor why she feels so excited. A vague suspicion is lurking in the back of her mind, hidden behind a fog of thoughts, but she doesn't believe it is true.
   But it is.
   Every step takes her closer to death.
   She wants to run, wants it to happen faster, wants to embrace death, but the importance of perfection is too vital. She mustn't do a single mistake; everything must be exactly as she planned it.
   A satisfied smile spreads over her lips. It will finally happen – she will die. No more pain, no more misery, no more sorrow. Everything she has ever loved has been torn away from her and she has been left in an empty loneliness, isolated from emotions. But she will be together with everyone she has lost again.
   The forest ends, giving room for grass, air and cliffs, way back in the distance. A smooth breeze makes the leaves whisper; wishing her good luck on her last journey. It will soon be over. Her family is already waiting for her arrival.
   She walks through knee-high grass that tickles her bare legs with its rough structure; it's trying to stop her, make her change her mind and keep living. But there is nothing left for her in this life – she has to die.
   Soon the grass ends and rocks spread out over the landscape in front of her like grey little goblins, worshiping the blazing sun.
   She can hear the roaring of the ocean. It screams to her, wants her to sacrifice her body to its depths; she's more than willing to do that. She takes the last few steps to the edge of the rocks, standing nearly fifty meters above the longing water; it wants her, needs her. She doesn't mind that, she has no reason to resist how it screams for her flesh, how the sea wants to rip her apart, share her with all of the water drops in the ocean.
   She smiles at the thought; a piece of her all over the world.
   But what if she doesn't die, just becomes gravely wounded, but survives, hospitalized for the rest of her miserable life?
   She shakes her head, makes those thoughts go away. She doesn't want them in her head, she doesn't want to hear them. They are just like the grass; they don't want her to die, they want her to keep on living.
   But for what? What does she have to live for?
   Nothing. And that is all.
   There is no room for hesitation.
   With her arms raised straight out from her body and her face turned to the sapphire blue sky, she takes the step over the edge, falls through the air and lets the rampaging waves swallow her body.
   The water closes its jaws around her, making her disappear forever, consumed by eternity.


- Kajsa Mohlén

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